


This Makes For A Terrible Fairy Tale

by TheLuckyLoser



Category: Gintama
Genre: Alternate Universe - Cinderella Fusion, Fairy Tale Elements, Kagura/Okita Sougo (Background) - Freeform, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-27
Updated: 2020-07-28
Packaged: 2021-03-06 05:55:36
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,036
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25558453
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheLuckyLoser/pseuds/TheLuckyLoser
Summary: In which Toshirou is a shitty Cinderella with an even shittier Prince Charming.Or alternatively: the story of how assaulting a permy prince at a ball ends with a long range marathon between two idiots who may or may not like each other as much as they want to beat each other.
Relationships: Hijikata Toshirou/Sakata Gintoki
Comments: 11
Kudos: 108





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> EDIT 2/10/21: i just fixed up some grammar issues i saw. i can't really read my own writing without cringing so i often miss basic errors haha sorry

When the announcement was made that Queen Otose was throwing a ball to find her only son a spouse, Toshirou couldn’t have cared less. He had more important things to focus on, like whipping the new recruits of Kondo’s dojo into shape or reorganizing his mayo collection. 

So when everyone around him buzzed with excitement, he sat back and disinterestedly smoked a cigarette. Even Kondo was getting worked up, flittering about and talking about how excited he was for the ball since he heard Lady Otae would be going when he was camped out under her dining room table.

“Toshi! What are you wearing to the ball? Do you have an outfit picked out yet?” 

“No. I’m not going.” Why would he go to some ball for Queen Otose’s son? Toshirou heard he was a lazy good for nothing. No wonder she was trying to marry him off. Guys like that oughta hurry up and commit seppuku.

Kondo looked like Toshirou had just kicked a puppy. “Not going? But what if you meet your One True Love! Your own Otae!”

Toshirou thought about pointing out how Otae seemed to see Kondo as more of a One True Punching Bag but thought better of it.

Sougo was sharpening his sword, sitting cross legged on the floor. “Beings like Hijikatas don’t have true loves. They are like cockroaches.” He stood and raised the sword above his head. “They live fast and die by my hand.”

“Oi! Don’t act like you’ve killed me a bunch of times over!” Toshirou dodged Sougo’s sword and was about to swing back when Kondo stepped in.

“You’ve got to go, Toshi!” Kondo grabbed his shoulders and shook him. “What if… Well, I heard a rumor that the palace has special mayo.”

Toshirou, who had been trying to discretely pry Kondo’s hands off, stopped. He had never had palace mayo. Was it good? It had to be. All mayo was good. But it had to be something special if a rumor was spread about it, right?

Kondo seemed to notice he was listening and latched on. “I bet they’re going have it at the refreshments table. If you go, you’ll definitely be able to try it. C’mon, Toshi.”

“… I don’t have anything to wear.”

“Don’t worry! I WILL MAKE YOU THE BELLE OF THE BALL.” Kondo cheered, and Toshirou felt a flash of apprehension. Sougo looked suddenly more mischievous than usual.

It’s all for the mayo, he reminded himself.

* * *

The night of the ball came too quick for Toshirou’s taste. He didn’t even know what he was wearing because Kondo had insisted on keeping it a secret. Toshirou was beginning to suspect that he hadn’t picked out anything at all.

“Tada!” Kondo exclaimed, holding up a yukata. “You’re outfit!”

Toshirou examined it with an uncaring eye. He must’ve shown his unimpressedness on his face a little too much because Kondo’s expression fell. 

“You don’t like it?” he cried. Toshirou immediately put more enthusiasm into his face, and he hoped he managed it without looking like an absolute psychopath.

“No, it’s fine, really. Great.”

And it really wasn’t bad. It was all black, the fabric fine and soft. The pattern running along the hem and sleeves was gold waves, gentle and shimmering in the light. Kondo even got him a matching strip of gold fabric to tie his hair up. 

It would definitely do, since Toshirou didn’t care much about what he was going to wear in the first place.

Kondo looked pleased, forcing it into his hands. “Put it on so we can leave in a bit. I’d like to get back by midnight so Sougo doesn’t lose too much sleep. He’s a growing boy, after all.”

More like a growing ogre. Toshirou hoped Sougo lost sleep. Many sleeps. Maybe it would skew his attempts at murdering Toshirou.

When they arrived at the ball it was in full swing. It reminded Toshirou of a large social party than a dignified event. But it didn’t matter, it wasn’t what he was there for. Kondo immediately broke off from the group, claiming his Otae Sense was tingling, thus leaving Toshirou with Sougo. Sougo fixed him a soul withering stare.

“I’d say have fun, but I truly hope you have an awful time.” Sougo clapped his hands twice and held them together as he closed his eyes and prayed. “I hope Hijikata shits his pants on the dancefloor. I hope Hijikata meets the prince and makes a fool himself and almost gets arrested. No wait, scratch that last part. I hope he gets arrested and tried for treason.” 

Toshirou growls under his breath, itching for a cigarette. “We aren’t ringing in the New Year, you ass. And even if we were, wish for something better, like a soul. You seem to have misplaced yours.”

Sougo was already gone though, disappearing into the throng of people. Whatever, he had mayo to attend to.

* * *

Gintoki was bored. He’d been bored ever since the old lady had decided it was up and time that he found someone to settle down with and went through the trouble of throwing him a ball. No matter how much griping, complaining, and threatening he did, she refused to change her mind, and he was champion of all three.

So when the day of the ball came, he utilized another one of his specialties and evasively moved around to avoid his responsibilities. 

He passed by Kagura, who was butting heads with a brown-haired boy who seemed to be holding his ground fairly well. Gintoki was impressed. Kagura packed a punch. He did wince when he saw her fist bury itself in his gut, and he felt a phantom pain in his own abdomen in sympathy.

He wandered around for a few hours, passing through polite conversations when he saw an open circle around the refreshments table. The people around the circle were various shades of green, open disgust visible. One woman seemed to be holding in tears as she gagged at whatever was in the middle of the circle.

Gintoki made his way over to see what the hold up was. There in the center was a man around his age, facing away from him and stuffing his face with something at the table. He was wearing a black yukata that matched Gintoki’s own a little too perfectly. Gintoki immediately felt on edge as he considered that he may have another rival main character.

“Hey you!” he called. The man continued to face the other way, eating something by the spoonful. “Hey ponytailed asshole! I’m talking to you! Don’t you know who I am?”

The long-haired asshole finally turned around and Gintoki’s breath caught. The asshole was gorgeous. He had long, straight dark hair and piercing steel blue eyes sat under neat eyebrows and a straight nose. Gintoki stared for a beat too long, and the man opened his mouth—

“What the fuck do you want?”

Gintoki immediately bristled at his tone; it didn’t matter how straight and silky this jerk’s hair was or how pretty his eyes were. He noticed the bowl of mayonnaise Beautiful Asshole was holding and immediately understood why everyone was gagging. Beautiful Asshole was eating straight up mayo. How disgusting. “I know you were invited like everyone else, but I don’t think it’s too late to uninvite you for eating straight up dog food.”

“OI! What dog food? You couldn’t possibly mean this,” Beautiful Asshole held the large bowl up reverently. Someone behind him fainted with a thud. 

“Is there anyone else here eating literal shit? I’m impressed you’re this stupid. I’ve never met anyone like you before.” Gintoki said. He walked closer to the table and began fixing himself a bowl.

Beautiful Asshole scoffed. “You must not get out a lot. This is all the rage amongst the younger generation. In fact, it’s also common food in high society. You must feel so embarrassed to be here and not know. I feel bad for you.”

Gintoki sputtered and wondered if Beautiful Asshole was messing with him or actually didn’t know who he was. He fixed an especially dead-eyed stare at him and jammed a finger in his nostril. “Eh? You should know that Gin-san is going to be king and can tell you that any royal worth his sugar would sooner eat a steaming pile of crap than that. You should repent for the lies you’re spewing. I’ll even let you grovel right here at my feet. Then I’ll teach you about proper diet.”

Beautiful Asshole gave him a disdainful look, like he was a particularly ugly wart. Gintoki’s hand twitched and he considered throwing hands. “Yeah right, and I’m gonna be the next queen. Besides, you’re eating a bowl of straight up sugar! You should consider improving your diet if that’s all you’re having. Here, let me help you.”

Gintoki watching in horror as Beautiful Asshole dumped a large spoonful of mayo into his bowl of sugar, jamming the spoon in to stir it around into a sugary mayo paste. Gintoki felt his soul escape from his mouth at all the wasted sugar. “AHHH! You ruined it! You ruined innocent sugar, you stupid copycat!”

“I improved it for you, you disgusting perm! It’s too late to be eating sugar this late anyways! And who are you calling copycat?!”

“You! You copied my yukata and ruined my meal!” Gintoki grabbed the front of Beautiful Asshole’s yukata and yanked him close so their heads butted aggressively. Beautiful Asshole reached out to grab Gintoki’s yukata too. Gintoki could feel the violent energy coming off him in waves.

“I didn’t pick out my outfit! And if I did, I would’ve gone the extra mile to make sure I wouldn’t match with a sugar freak with a bad perm!” Beautiful Asshole fired back, and Gintoki’s patience snapped. He swung out a fist and punched Beautiful Asshole in his Beautiful Asshole Face. He felt a small moment of victory before Beautiful Asshole swung back and caught him in the nose. 

“FUCK!” Gintoki exclaimed, kicking a leg out. Beautiful Asshole did the same, holding his cheek. He seemed to reach peak anger, as he picked up his half-finished bowl of mayonnaise and shoved it in Gintoki’s face. Gintoki let out a wild screech. “MY EYES! YOU GOT MAYO IN MY EYES AND IT BURNS!”

“It will help you see better.” Beautiful Asshole muttered then was quiet for a moment as the circle of people around them muttered loud shocked whispers. Gintoki rubbed his face, mayo stinging his eyes and he reached out to grab what he could see of Beautiful Asshole, whose blobbish form looked vaguely panicky?

Gintoki’s fingers closed around something solid and he yanked, hoping to catch Beautiful Asshole. Instead, a familiar shape was in his palm—a sword. “HOW DID YOU GET A WEAPON IN HERE? WHERE DID YOU EVEN HIDE IT?!”

But Beautiful Asshole was already gone though as Gintoki’s vision started to clear. His eyes throbbed and he looked at the sword he had grasped in his hand. His grip tightened around the sheath. Oh it was on.

* * *

Toshirou hadn’t run like his life depended on it in a while. But tonight was a special occasion on the grounds that he was quite sure he was possibly in trouble for assaulting a royal asshat, emphasis on the royal if the whispers of the people around him were any indication.

It was just his luck that the jerk who picked a fight with him was the very prince that the entire ball was thrown for.

And Toshirou just blinded him with mayonnaise. 

(He privately mourned for the wasted mayonnaise. It didn’t deserve a fate doomed in the nice red eyes of an idiot. Not that he was distracted by his eyes or anything.)

He got to the car, with Kondo, and Sougo arriving just as he did. He patted himself on the back for booking it at midnight. His internal clock must have known, even as his hands assaulted a prince, oh God—

“Toshi! You look shaken are you okay?” Kondo asked. Toshirou didn’t answer and shoved him in the car before getting behind the wheel. He didn’t check to see if Sougo got in before he was whipping out of the lot and driving like a maniac. 

He drifted around the turns of the long palace driveway and Kondo screamed as the car lurched ominously. “TOSHI SLOW DOWN!!”

Toshirou pushed the gas pedal down further and they sped off into the night. As they approached the dojo, he glanced in the rearview mirror and let out a small curse when he saw Sougo had made it into the car. Pity.

He made a wild turn with the wheel and the car drifted in a tight circle before settling in the drive way perfectly. Kondo unlocked the passenger door and vomited on the ground. Sougo got out and pointed a weapon at Toshirou who ducked. A wooden arrow sailed past him where his head had been a moment ago.

“I’m going to bed,” Toshirou announced too loudly and robotically walked inside, ignoring Kondo’s cries and Sougo’s cheerful chide to not wake up again.

* * *

“A notice was sent out this morning and put in the news that the prince is looking for someone who caught his eye yesterday.” Kondo said the next morning over breakfast conversationally. Toshirou choked on his coffee with mayonnaise. “He said they left in a hurry at midnight after practically blinding him and he just wants to know who they are so he could meet with them privately. Isn’t it all so romantic?”

Toshirou resolutely looked ahead as he fumbled through his pockets for a cigarette and lighter. “That shitty prince must have read too many fairytales. Cinderella will never love him.”

“True Love exists, Toshi. Maybe the prince has found it! He’s holding another ball tonight in hopes that the mystery person will attend again so that he can confess his feelings.” Kondo clasped his hands together. Toshirou wanted to tell him that the only feelings the prince would likely confess to him were of murderous intent.

“Good morning.” Sougo said as he walked in and sat down to eat. Toshirou thought about asking why he still had his eye mask on over his eyes, but Sougo beat him to the punch. “I’m keeping this on so that seeing Hijikata’s face doesn’t spoil my appetite. I’m a growing boy after all.”

Toshirou reached out to stab a chopstick through Sougo’s hands while he couldn’t see him but Sougo must’ve sensed his violent intent and moved his hand. He brought out a pair of headphones and jammed them into his ears. Toshirou could vaguely hear the chant of ‘Kill Hijikata Toshirou’ over and over from how loud Sougo had the volume.

“So why did you speed us home so quick yesterday?” Kondo asked as he added some more food to Sougo’s plate. Toshirou thought Kondo was too nice; Sougo deserved about a fourth of what was on his plate, in Toshirou’s opinion.

“Uh, bad mayo,” Toshirou stuttered out, mentally apologizing to the mayo gods for blaspheming about mayo. “Had to take a shit. Real bad. It was a spicy one.”

Kondo winced in sympathy, looking heartbroken. “I know how those are. My ass hasn’t been the same since I ate a feast of Lady Otae’s homecooked food. I’m sorry I pushed you to go for something that wasn’t worth it. I just wanted you to have a chance at happiness and thought maybe you would meet someone who caught your eye and your heart at the ball.”

Toshirou felt like drowning in guilt. Kondo just wanted what was best for him and here he was lying to him. The palace mayo had been delicious and worth it—up until that curly haired jerk came in. Toshirou couldn’t believe that he had thought Gintoki had been handsome for a few seconds before he spoke more.

Kondo deserved the truth. “No, it’s my bad. I’m actually the one the prince is—”

“No Toshi, it’s not your fault. I can’t expect my ideals to work on another person. How about you stay home tonight from the ball? And rest and relax.”

Toshirou slumped down and nodded. He couldn’t go back to the palace anyways. Not without probably getting arrested. “Yeah, okay.”

Sougo lifted up his eye mask and cursed. “I hoped my new method of manifesting my will would have worked but Hijikata is still alive. Damn.” He pulled out his sword. “Guess I’ll have to do it the old fashioned way.”

Breakfast ended quickly with broken dishes and Kondo putting him and Sougo in opposite time out corners.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gin Lays a Trap

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you guys like the second/last part ok cool thanks!

Gintoki was beginning to feel frustrated. Actually, he was already frustrated two balls ago. He was on his fourth ball and he was tired of waiting out for Beautiful Asshole to show up. What made him come in the first place anyways?

He couldn’t even saunter around peacefully anymore since people were clamoring to ask him if they were the ones who caught his eye. He did his best to lay them down gently while telling them he would have beat them if they were. None of them seemed to recognize the sword he had been carrying around strapped to his waist for the last two balls, anyways.

“Prince Gin! My, your face looks as dead as ever. What a pleasant surprise for the fourth night in a row.” Lady Otae said, a dainty hand pressed to her face as she bowed in greeting. Gintoki wasn’t fooled for a second. She was a gorilla of a woman. Shinpachi, one of his junior knights, was her little brother and often regaled tales of her brutality.

“You might have to get your head checked if you forget my dashing good looks every night.” Gintoki said, sticking a pinky in his ear instead of bowing back.

“Nonsense! I’ve hit my head with a frying pan every night so far to forget what the horrors of seeing you so many times successively does to my brain.”

Gintoki readied his pinky towards her, about to flick some wax at her in lieu of a response when a loud voice charged towards them.

“Lady Otae! My love! How blessed am I to see you for the fourth night in a row!” A gorilla in a fancy yukata ran up to them. Otae’s smile took on a forced quality and she seemed to ready a fist.

“Kondo, I am seeing you with my eyes.” Otae said. Gintoki wondered if she meant it’s good to see you. “I assume you are functioning.”

“At full capacity, in fact I—” Gorilla stopped, eyes catching on the sword at Gintoki’s waist. “Sorry if I seem rude, Prince Gintoki, but is that sword yours?”

“This old thing? Pfft. No way. Why? Is it familiar? Do you recognize it?” Gintoki tried not to sound too eager. 

He must have been successful because Gorilla gave an easy laugh and said, “It looks just like Toshi’s sword! You guys match in a lot of ways. He wore a yukata the first night just like the one you’re wearing now.”

Gintoki felt like a cat who got the canary. “Oh really? Tell me more.”

Gorilla looked ecstatic. “Of course! He…”

* * *

Toshirou felt a shiver go down his back as he sucked on a mayonnaise popsicle to beat the summer night heat. Something bad was happening, he could feel it.

* * *

Gintoki held his breath that this would be the last ball he would throw. Gorilla gave him all the information he needed under the guise that kind Prince Gintoki just wanted to know more about this ‘Toshi’. 

And he really did, because Gintoki needed Toshirou to come back so he could beat his ass and then some. 

(He also wouldn’t mind seeing him again in general. Gintoki was fond of people who were easy on the eyes and could keep up with him.)

He was a little (a lot) offended that Toshirou didn’t care at all about him and had originally come just to eat dog food then leave but it all worked in his favor. He had told Gorilla that the palace cooks had created something called Super Mayo Deluxe and that they were going to serve it at the next ball. A bold-faced lie, but for the greater good of bringing Gintoki one step closer to fighting Toshirou for blinding him and leaving.

“You’re face will get more wrinkles if it stays in that disgusting grin, Gin-chan. You can’t risk getting any uglier. My eyes wouldn’t be able to take it.”

Gin felt the smarmy smile on his face drop into a frown as he turned to look at Kagura. Why did everyone around him insult his appearance instead of greeting him normally? If he was a lesser man he would’ve started to develop a complex.

“I’m as young as a fresh daisy.” Gintoki said breezily and went back to scanning the crowd. “In fact, when I was your age, I was even younger than you. Kids these days really are ripening and wrinkling too fast, like bad fruit.”

Kagura gave him a bored, unimpressed stare. He felt a flash of pride that it was just as flat as his own. Just then the same brown-haired boy from the first night came up to her from behind and tapped her on the shoulder. Kagura grabbed the finger and bent it backwards. The boy didn’t even flinch.

“Ow,” he said, not sounding in pain at all. “Let go, you aggressive she-hulk. I was going to ask if you wanted to dance. Out of pity, of course.”

Kagura snorted, face pulling in distaste. The finger she was bending was bent almost completely backwards, but the boy gave no indication that he had a broken finger. He looked oddly delighted. “I would say no, but I know no one else will accept your offer. Look at how kind I am! You should take notes before I have Gin-chan execute you for that bad attitude.”

The brown-haired boy stuck his chin out while eyeing Gintoki like he was gum he stepped in. “I’d like to see him try. He couldn’t even track down Hijikata and arrest him and put him down like the vermin he is. Pathetic,” he said. “I’m Sougo, by the way.”

“Wait, you said Hijikata? You know him?” Gin demanded. “Is he here?”

Sougo managed to snag the hand Kagura was using to attempt to casually strangle him and held it in a tight grip. “Are you planning to persecute him? Please know you have my full support.”

Gintoki flapped a hand. “Yeah, whatever Souichirou. Is he here?”

Souichirou pointed over his shoulder. “By the refreshments table. And it’s Sougo. Here, you’ll need this.”

Gintoki barely paid any mind to whatever Soichigou put in his hands as he made his way over to the refreshments table. There, in the same yukata as the first night, was Hijikata Toshirou in all his glory. 

“Hijikata Toshirou!” Gintoki called. Toshirou looked up and his eyes widened, glancing down at his hands before turning tail and running. What? Gintoki looked down and realized what Sougichirou had shoved in his hands was a crossbow. Where had he even kept this?!

“Wait!” Gin cried out, dropping the crossbow and giving chase. “SLOW THE FUCK DOWN!”

Toshirou definitely heard him, as he called back and ran even faster past the palace gates. “IT WAS AN ACCIDENT!”

“I JUST WANT TO TALK!”

* * *

Toshirou knew it was a bad idea to return to the palace. He didn’t even want to return for the sword he accidentally left behind. He already resigned himself to having to buy a new one. But Super Mayo Deluxe sounded too good to pass up. He’d be happy to die with the taste of something called Super Mayo Deluxe on his tongue than nothing at all. 

So he put on some running shoes and the same yukata he wore the first night. Hopefully he could be in and out, but if not he could at least try and book it again. 

His plan seemed to work for all of about ten minutes when he heard someone call his name. He looked up and saw Prince Gintoki standing about six feet away with a crossbow in his hands. Toshirou didn’t think a public execution would be good for royal publicity but didn’t want to stay to find out. 

“Wait! SLOW THE FUCK DOWN!” Gintoki screamed.

Did this prince think he was an idiot? 

“IT WAS AN ACCIDENT!” It hadn’t been, actually. Not until he had realized Gintoki was a prince and not some random bum with a bad haircut and a (more than) okay face.

“I JUST WANT TO TALK!” 

Yeah right, Toshirou thought, putting on more speed. A crossbow just screams conversation. Although, it did look slightly familiar. Suspiciously familiar, actually.

The prince is in league with Sougo, Toshirou realized. Even more of a reason not to trust him.

He doesn’t know how many miles he ran with the prince chasing him. He was lucky he always had strong stamina but even he was getting sick of running. And from the panting he could hear from the prince, he no doubt felt the same. But the desire not to die was stronger than his exhaustion so he channeled his energy into a final burst of speed as they were passing a bridge. 

“That’s it!” the prince cried and Toshirou felt something collide with the back of his head, causing him to pitch forward. Then a heavy body landed on top of him, pinning him down and squashing him.

The object that hit him slid to halt a few feet ahead of them. Toshirou groaned as he looked up and saw it was his sword. 

“I just wanted to talk, you asshole!” Gintoki said. “Not run an eight-mile marathon! You’ll pay for making Gin-san run so much!”

Toshirou struggled as much as someone could struggle with another person sitting on their back. “If it bothered you so much, you should have let me escape! I don’t want to be stuck here underneath someone so heavy either!”

Gintoki made an offended noise. “I’m light as a feather! I probably wouldn’t be breathing if I was under you. Mayo is practically pure fat, and I reckon you’re probably eighty percent mayo from what I’ve seen.”

Toshirou let out a sad sigh as he remembered that he didn’t even get to try Super Mayo Deluxe. All that was there was the regular palace mayo from the first night. “If you’re gonna kill me, at least let me try some Super Mayo first.”

Gintoki looked sadistically pleased from what Toshirou could see over his own shoulder. “Oh that? That was a lie. As if the chefs would put their time into making Super Dog Food Deluxe.”

The mayo was a lie? Toshirou began to struggle again, violence coursing through his veins. No one should ever lie about mayo. His anguish must have been extremely apparent because the prince looked almost vaguely apologetic. Toshirou wasn’t fooled for a second.

“Oi, oi, you should be grateful. All I wanted was to return your sword and teach you a lesson for shoving mayo in my eyes. Look how kind I am.”

“You liar! I’ll fight you right now if that’s your punishment. I’m itching to kick your ass again.”

Gintoki ignored the bait. “Hmm. No, I don’t want to fight you anymore. It’d be like kicking a puppy who just got told puppy Christmas was cancelled and that all of its puppy presents were burned. 

“No,” Gintoki grinned wolfishly. Toshirou was mesmerized for a second before a horrible feeling sunk in. “You’re in the doghouse now.”

What?

* * *

Queen Otose announced the following day that her son found someone he wants to settle down with at one of the balls. She didn’t say who, just that her son located the person he had been looking for. Toshirou felt like a national secret.

Kondo was half-heartbroken that Toshirou didn’t tell him that he had a thing with the prince no matter how much Toshirou insisted it wasn’t was it sounded like and the search for him was more like an APB than searching for True Love. The other half of Kondo was more like a proud father whose son was finally growing up.

Gintoki insisted on taking him out for ‘dates’ which Toshirou interpreted as covert attempts on his life that more often than not ended up in flat out fighting or arguing. Toshirou would never admit it to the permed prince, but he hadn’t enjoyed himself so much in a while. 

He wouldn’t be fooled, though. This asshole was playing a long con. Toshirou decided to keep an eye on him. For his own sake, of course.

Several years passed with Toshirou arguing and fighting with Gintoki. When Gintoki chucked a small mayonnaise bottle shaped box with the label ‘Super Mayo Deluxe’ on it containing a ring at  
Toshirou’s head, he could only insist to himself that his tearful yes was just to keep an eye on Gintoki. 

Honestly.

Fin.

* * *

OMAKE

“Hijikata! How wonderful to see you. You look well,” Lady Otae said, fanning herself delicately over the table where they were having an afternoon lunch in the garden. “How have you been? I see you got your sword back.”

Gintoki practically squawked as Toshirou replied, “Hello, Lady Otae. I’ve had better days. Or weeks.” He eyeballed Gintoki with disdain. “Scratch that, I’ve had better years. How about you?”

“You knew who he was?!” Gintoki said, feeling the urge to pull his hair.

“Of course. Who do you think comes to drag the Gorilla away from my house on the weekends? It’s only natural that I know Hijikata and his sword.”

“You couldn’t have told me and spared me the trouble of throwing four more balls?”

Toshirou looked like every holiday had come at once as he observed Gintoki’s misery. 

“Stop looking so smug, you prick,” Gintoki mumbled, reaching out to brush a crumb away from Toshirou’s cheek and dodged the half-hearted attempt Toshirou made to stab him with a fork. Cute.

**Author's Note:**

> s/o to my sibling for the title. i love cinderella aus and this one kept me up so i bit the bullet and wrote it out hope its ok thanks


End file.
